How to Listen to Your Inner Self Over Chaos: Understanding Instincts

 

We commonly use words like gut feeling, intuition, strong feeling, and many other similar expressions. However, the overall meaning behind all these words is the same—our inner voice, the voice of you, your subconscious mind.
If you are familiar with the concept of the brain being divided into the conscious and subconscious mind, then you already belong to an aware audience.

I strongly believe that we should follow our instincts, passions, and dreams rather than blindly following advice from others. Logically and scientifically, every human being carries variation—not only biologically through genes, but psychologically as well. People usually give advice based on their own experiences, the decisions they made under pressure, self-chosen paths, or circumstances that worked best for them. Naturally, those choices produced results for them.

What we generally do, however, is not just listen—we compare ourselves with them. We try to adapt their routines, habits of success, and lifestyles, assuming the same formula will work for us. This influence is everywhere around us, just like air. And without realizing it, we breathe in negativity, stress, competition, envy, and many complicated emotions that we never even name.

As the saying goes, “The harder we try not to slip, the harder we fall.” Maybe this isn’t just gravity defined by Newton’s law, but a rule that strongly applies to human emotions as well.

Resistance vs Acceptance: What We Often Get Wrong

What we all need to understand is that the real issue is not resistance, but acceptance. On one side, we apply too much force trying to resist painful words, actions, and behaviors. On the other side, we fail to accept ourselves.

People often misunderstand acceptance as silence, weakness, or a submissive personality. This is a complete myth. Acceptance actually brings calmness, self-belief, and helps us compose our true self.

Acceptance does not mean giving up. It means understanding your reality without self-judgment and allowing yourself the space to heal and grow.

Breaking the Barriers of Life

The harsh truth we must eventually face is that sooner or later, we have to break the barriers of our lives, not only externally but internally as well. External barriers are familiar to all of us—bondages of relationships, family expectations, friendships, and obstacles that we see as threats to our growth.

Breaking barriers does not mean being rude, offensive, or hurting the feelings of people we care about. It simply means choosing yourself. Choosing a better life, choosing dreams, and allowing yourself wings always leads to a meaningful path.

Creating yourself, thinking for yourself, prioritizing yourself, choosing yourself in difficult situations, and chasing your dreams is not selfishness—it is self-care and self-love.

“LIVING FOR SELF CAN NEVER BE CONSIDERED AS SELFISHNESS.”

Why We Don’t Trust Our Intuition

Despite having an inner voice, we often ignore it. Here are some important reasons why:

1. Self-Doubt

Self-doubt is one of the strongest reasons that holds us back. It is not entirely our fault. This doubt is rooted in the pattern of our character development and the experiences that shaped us in the past.

When we grow up in an environment filled with comparison and negativity, self-doubt grows stronger. As such, individuals enter adolescence and adulthood, they struggle to trust their decisions—even after thinking multiple times.

A relatable example:
When we go out of town for a week, we carefully check everything before locking the house—sometimes more than once. Yet during the journey, we constantly think about the lock, lights, and safety issues. This overthinking turns into negative imagination, creating anxiety and panic.

As a result, the entire trip or precious moments with family, friends, or loved ones get ruined. Most of the time, these doubts are invalid. We only feel relaxed when we return and confirm everything is fine. Unfortunately, by then, the moments and memories are already damaged by stress, visible in our expressions and restless thoughts.

2. Constant Demotivation

We often hear that too much appreciation can be harmful because it may lead to overconfidence or arrogance. However, constant demotivation is equally damaging.

When a person is repeatedly criticized or questioned for every move, self-doubt deepens. The conscious mind tries to inject confidence for a short time, but it doesn’t last because the subconscious mind remembers fear very clearly.

Even small mistakes can trigger anxiety. The person hides it behind a smile or forced confidence because society—and sometimes even close ones—constantly challenge their decisions. Until they consciously decide to face and overcome their struggles, confidence never fully develops at the subconscious level.

3. Acceptance and the Process of Overcoming

In such situations, a person must accept their condition as it is. As we say in Hindi:

“Usse apne zakhmon ko apnana hoga, unhe gale lagana hoga.”

Running away or feeling pity for oneself only makes the situation worse. Healing begins when we accept the wounds of the past instead of denying them.

Acceptance is not easy. People often avoid facing their deepest wounds because it takes immense courage to acknowledge and heal them. These wounds are not new—they are a collection of experiences from the past, from times when we didn’t even realize we were being hurt.

Listening to our inner voice clears the fog from our vision. It helps us trust our steps and move forward with confidence.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, our decisions shape our lives. Despite all relationships and connections, we walk alone with our choices—our guilt, happiness, failures, and successes.

That is why self-trust and inner awareness matter so much.

“Before living for others, we must learn to live for ourselves.”